Prioritizing self-care & rest as a new mom
Self-care and rest in the postpartum phase are non-negotiable. If you don’t take care of yourself, burnout is coming... it’s not a matter of if, it’s a matter of when.
During my own postpartum journeys, I discovered there were different levels of self-care I needed, based on the kind of day or week I was having. Some were so basic they barely felt like self-care, like finally guzzling down a glass of water or stealing ten minutes of sunshine on the porch. Others involved asking my partner for a foot rub (because hello, tired feet!) or carving out “me time” for a bubble bath. And then there were the self-care activities that required a little planning, but were oh-so-worth-it, like booking a massage or meeting up with a friend for coffee.
There are different kinds of rest.
Often, when we think about self-care and/or rest, we think about activities related to physical rest only, like taking a nap. But there are seven different kinds of rest we need as humans in order to feel recharged and refreshed:
Physical: stretching, taking a nap, going for a walk
Mental: reading a book, meditating, turning off your phone
Emotional: having an open conversation with a friend, journaling, going to therapy
Sensory: closing your eyes, breathing exercises, taking a bath
Social: meeting up with a friend for lunch, going to the park with a group of parents/kids
Creative: enjoying a hobby like embroidery or painting, trying a new recipe
Spiritual: going on a hike, going to church, volunteering
This guide is all about creating a personalized self-care plan that mixes different kinds of self-care and rest into your daily, weekly, and monthly routines. Start by adding a few small things into your day, then by scheduling one bigger activity a week, even if it’s just 30 minutes. Consistency is key, so find an approach that works for you.
Because trust me, even the smallest acts of self-care can make a world of difference.
Start by getting down to the basics:
I don’t subscribe to the philosophy that telling a mom to take a shower is “self-care.” (We’d never tell a dad this!!) However, in the postpartum period, sometimes you really do just need to take it all the way back to the basics. So think of these ideas less as self-care and more as nervous system resets to communicate to your body that it is safe, well-loved, and cared for.
Eat a snack or a meal
Drink a glass of water
Sit or lie down for at least 15 minutes
Take a shower
Sit outside for 10 minutes
Go on a slow 10-minute walk
Practice 4-count breathing: Breathe in for four counts, hold your breath for 4 counts, then breathe out for four counts. Repeat for one to two minutes.
Stretch your body with gentle yoga poses like cat-cows, shoulder rolls, or easy twists.
Spritz essential oil (like lavender or chamomile) on your pillow or roll onto your wrists.
Put on your favorite music, even if it’s just for a few songs. Dance around the house (alone or with your baby!) or close your eyes and enjoy.
Laugh! Watch a funny video or call a friend who always makes you laugh.
Splash cold water on your face
Savor a few pieces of chocolate to boost dopamine levels
Then, start taking a little extra time:
Have your partner give you a foot rub
Take a bath. Make it special: add salts, oils or bubbles. Light a candle. Read a book or listen to music.
Connect with others! Meet up with other moms/parents of young kids at a playground
With your partner, coordinate a few times per week you’re able to sleep for at least 4 to 5 hours uninterrupted.
Once your body feels like it’s ready for movement, squeeze in one of your favorite workouts. Focus on movement that feels really good. This is not about losing the baby weight or bouncing back. This is about reconnecting with your beautiful body, the one who is doing SO MUCH WORK! You can try an at-home yoga practice that focuses on relaxation and gentle stretching. Some of my favorites are Yoga with Adriene or Kate Amber Yoga, who has some very peaceful yin videos.
When you run solo errands, do something simple but nice for yourself. Get a coffee. Get a pastry. Sit in your car alone in the parking lot for 10 minutes.
Set a timer for 10 minutes, pick a journaling prompt, and let it all out on the page
Work with a therapist to process the emotional and physical changes that come with parenthood.
When you feel up for it, start nourishing yourself with even more time-intensive restoration:
Book a massage
Get a pedicure
Go on a solo walk or hike in the woods
Schedule a haircut or facial
Dedicate time to a creative pursuit you enjoy, like painting, writing, playing music, or gardening
Ask your partner to plan an outing without the baby. Even two hours away will help you feel more connected to your own sense of being and autonomy.